I Never Lose. I Either Win, or I Learn (Reading Time: 3 minutes)

November 1, 2018

I have always enjoyed this #quote.

As a young man, I used to really experience#anxiety about life and not being enough, doing things right, being good, etc. I still have moments where these feelings sneak in at times now.

I recall sitting in my very first #therapy session as a student #counsellor

It was with a woman that was in treatment with #breastcancer that was quite serious. 


I was sitting there in the room with her (with my faux hawk) and holding space for her to share what her experience was and what it was that she was going through.

In that moment I had few words to share. I didn’t know what to say or how to respond to some of her concerns that she was sharing. I didn’t have breasts or a similar experience to draw on to give her advice.

After the session, I thought I had blown it, I wondered how she felt about the session, and if she would seek further sessions.

I thought I had failed. I thought I had lost.

 


In speaking to my supervisor, she taught me something I’ve held on to since that day.

She told me, ‘you don’t need to have the same experience to understand pain, fear, anxiety, loss. You have experienced those things and that gives you the ability to convey #empathy and connect. That is what humans need and seek and that is#powerful’

I think about that moment often when I am working with clients and how I can connect with them in a way that is #meaningful

Later, my supervisor contacted me after my practicum had ended, and let me know that she had spoken to that client and she had commented that holding space for her in that session was exactly what she needed rather than #advice

That was the second lesson I learned, the power of #silence and how to just #listen

Silence has become one of my most trusted tools in my therapeutic work now and I have become adept at identifying when a client is processing and needs space and silence and when a client is seeking for guidance from me. 

Therapy is a practice as it constantly evolves and is a skill that grows. My growth will never be complete and for that I am both grateful and energized to continue. 

If you are seeking someone to talk to about anything causing #stress or #distress in your life. Send me a message and we can set up a phone consult and at the end I will provide you with a no obligation preliminary treatment plan of what I think would be helpful based on what we discuss.

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